The Sliding Turkey and the Cats

The Sliding Turkey and the Cats

Potluck Dinner at the Church

 

This story is not one that I experienced personally. It was related to me by my late Father-in-law, Melvin Pashley,  one day when we were reminiscing about dinners at the First Baptist Church of  Pedricktown. I have no way to discover its veracity, since most of the participants have gone to their rewards, however, it probably did happen and it is an amusing look at life in a small town.

Our church had frequent dinners, but there were a couple of times a year when they were special occasions, such as the Mother-Daughter, Father-Son, and holiday dinners. This particular occasion was most likely a church-wide Thanksgiving dinner, but I have forgotten exactly what he told me the occasion was. As you will see, it was in the winter, so the Mother-Daughter and Father-Son are ruled out.

Since our town had only three churches and nearly everyone attended one of the three, the size of our congregation was large for the size of the town.   The custom was generally for the women's Sunday School classes to take charge and organize these affairs and many volunteered to prepare the meat at their homes since the ovens in the church would not have been sufficient for the size of the crowd. Herein lies the heart of the matter for this story.

One of our members {I have decided not to publish the name, though I suspect the identity can be deciphered fairly easily} owned a farm very close to the church and his wife had cooked one of the turkeys for the dinner. She had sent him home to collect it since it was time to start carving and serving.

This is where the story related by Dad Pashley begins. We had recently had precipitation and the ground was still icy, especially farmyards and gravel driveways. This particular farmyard was fairly large with a short paved sideway leading from the side door to it. The house sat slightly higher than the farmyard causing the walkway to be downhill.

The member returned to the church and delivered his assignment to the cooks in the kitchen and went and stood with the other men awaiting dinner. He was laughing to himself (almost giggling - but we wouldn't accuse a man in our town of giggling) and turned to Dad and said; "Be careful which turkey you get at your table".

Dad replied; "Why?" to which the following story was told.

"First, you have to keep this to yourself! If {first name of wife goes here} finds out, she'll kill me! I went home to get the turkey from the oven and had in on a platter covered with a dishtowel. Everything was going okay until I got on the walkway to my car when I slipped and lost control of the platter. The turkey slid off the platter and across the icy farmyard."

My father-in-law began to laugh with him and asked "Then what?"

"Cats came from everywhere", he snorted, "I managed to retrieve it but not before it was surrounded by licking cats, I took it into house and brushed it off, but I can't swear there isn't cat hair or grit still present".

Both men got to laughing almost uncontrollably but would not reveal what was so funny.

As I said, I can't verify the story, but when my father-in-law related it years later, he still began to laugh uncontrollably. This (and the fact that I know all  players involved) leads me to believe it is probably what happened. Since I probably attended that dinner, I wonder if I got any of that cat-licked turkey! I also wonder whether he ever told his wife. Assuming how she would have reacted probably not!

Davdan @ 2008-2018